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思维及行为指南


2010-06-19


心境

苏格拉底却总是在享受生活

哲学家苏格拉底成家后,搬进了一座七层高的大楼居住,而他家住在最底层,

底层的环境是非常差的,可是苏格拉底却总是一副怡然自得的满足样子

朋友见了这种情况,就问苏格拉底:“在这样的环境中生活,你也会感到高兴?”

对呀,我住在这里十分快乐啊!因为回家不用爬很高的楼梯;

朋友来看我也可以不用上那么高的楼;而且我还可以在家门前种许多美丽的花,种各种各样的菜.

过了几年,苏格拉底把自己的房子和七楼的一位老人换了。

朋友又问他:“住在七层你就不会有那么多好处了吧?

苏格拉底笑着说:“不是这样的啊,其实好处真不少呢!

每天可以通过上下楼达到锻炼身体的效果啊;七楼的光线好,看书不伤眼睛;

七楼在顶层十分安静,没有那么多的噪声啊。住在这里也很不错哦。”

有人问苏格拉底的学生柏拉图:“你的老师每天都是那么快乐,可是我怎么觉得他的处境不怎么样呢?”

柏拉图告诉他:“其实,决定一个人心情的,关键是心境而不是环境。”

豁然小悟

尽管在别人看来,苏格拉底的生活是不尽如人意的,但是苏格拉底却总是在享受生
活。

归根到底在于他有一个良好的心态,对客观事物有正确的认识。

同样是 100元钱,乐观的人会庆幸还有 100元,而悲观的人则会觉得就只剩下这么 100元钱了。

很多时候,心境的作用是很奇特的,它会使人们对同一件事情采取不同的方法去应对,这样就会产生不同的结果。

我们现实生活中经常出现这样的情况,即使事物是没有区别的,也会因
为不同人的心境而 对其得出不同的认识。

因此,我 们绝不能低估心境的作用,

它对我们的人生影响是巨大的,有时候甚至可以改变我们的命运。

面对喜事时的心境,面对失败时的心境,面对各种机遇、挑战时的心境,也
许你人生的未来之路就在你心境的一念之差中,悄悄地改变。
............................................
烦恼是自己穷想出来的;痛苦是与人比出来的;疾病是不良习惯造出来的;快乐是知足养出来的;健康是步行走出来的。
.............................................
“人与人生”系 陈弥与沈乐年同志在2012.12.18日清 华大学离退休教职工迎新年文艺会演上演出的朗诵诗

好人应该是有责任心,有是非感和有爱心的人。他们的言行能让别人快乐,能使社会增色。

尽心尽责去做,对结果、对得失不要太在乎。

问:何谓智?答:不 为利所诱,不为激所怒,不为危所乱。

问:何谓天才?答:滴水穿石。
问:何谓风度?答:修养的外 观。

问:何谓气质?答:内在的美,由先天造就,靠后天充 实。
问:何谓美?答:使人愉悦,使人感 动,使人升华,使人奋进。

问:世界上最美的是什么?
答:高尚的心灵。
问:何谓丑?
答:使人 恶心,使人消沉,使人堕落。

问:你认为什么最可敬?答:一身正气,或者忍辱 负重。
问:你认为什么最可爱?答: 纯真。

问:你认为什么最可恨?
答:极端自私。
问:你认为什么最可笑?
答:傲慢。

问:你认为什么最可悲?
答:浪 费人生。
问:人活在世上,应该与时代合拍呢,还是我行我素?
答:人活在世上, 应该合群合拍不合污

问:人生在世,最不能缺什么?
答:最不能缺德。
问:人生的航程中有哪些暗礁?
答: 轻信、自满、自卑和重利轻义。

问:你对嫉妒的看法?
答:嫉妒是自卑和自私拌成的毒 药,伤害别人,却首先毒害了自己。

问:人生的顶峰是什么?
答:成熟。懂得珍惜。

问:人类最大的祸害是什么?答: 贪婪。
问:说说你对钱的理解?答: 钱太重了,人就轻了。

问:你对历史的看法?
答:要以敬畏之心 对待历史,我们今天的言行,都将是明天的历史,它们是无法涂改的。

问:你最大的幸运是什么 ?
答:我最大的幸运是能到 这个世上走一遭,能为人类创造一点美。





为什么有的人脾气暴躁,即使没人惹他的时候,也要发火?

人的脾气的好坏,的确决定一个人的命运。脾气不好的话,会得罪许多人,连工作都保不住。狠心的人,得罪的人也越多,敌人也越多,生活也越艰难。

没有爱心的人,得不到爱。

人的脾气是由什么决定的?
是受魔鬼的灵的影响,还是由体内化学成分的组成而空制,还是由与肉体无关的灵魂来决定?人在服某种药之后,情绪会有所变化,但效果不是自然的,有可能人会痴呆。不服药的人也能够学会用意志来控制脾气。人的脾气与外界因素有很大关联,很显然,各种因素都有作用,人体内化学成分的组成不是唯一的调解方式,也许是最原始因素,即不同的人有不同的脾气,但很有可能人的脾气是由与肉体无关的灵魂决定的。生后外界因素也在人的成长过程中对人的脾气有很大影响。如果父母脾气不好,会对孩子有很大的影响。经常看电视的小孩,长大后会像电视里的人一样,一张嘴就有口气和态度。

坏脾气的人能变成好脾气吗?怎样才能变?
这是最重大的一个问题。首先,有脾气的人一定要能够查觉,即意识到自己的脾气毛病。脾气的大小有很多层次,即使一个人从表面看来没发脾气,但他的内心也可能很不稳定,也有焦急,烦躁的感觉。这种感觉是最好没有的才是,因为这种感觉跟爱是对立的,有这种感觉的人,不能够心里有爱。

当有脾气的人能够查觉这种烦躁的感觉之后,要通过祷告来不断地帮助自己克服这种感觉。一定要忏悔,检查自己的毛病。

怎么样才能有爱心?
首先,要查觉到没有爱心的时刻,要经常想怎样才能表示爱,是在别人过生日的时候送礼物也好,还是真诚地去照顾他人的情况,要从小事上做起,养成习惯就会越来越容易。要多告诉亲人及朋友你爱他们,养成习惯就好了。要大方,不能自私。自私的人不能够爱别人,也得不到爱。

Only when we can detect and are aware of the natural man within us that we can make conscious effort to overcome him and cast him out.

When we judge others, we'll have less time to love them. That's why God does not want us to judge others because he wants us to love everyone.

It's easy to love someone who is pretty, but what God wants us to be is to be able to love the uncomely people too.

http://www.spiritualguidancetarot.com/sanctuary/roseparable.html
One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns and find the rose within others. This is the characteristic of love, to look at a person, and knowing his faults, recognize the nobility in his soul, and help him realize that he can overcome his faults.

Our duty in this world is to help others by showing them their roses and not their thorns.

Mother Teresa:
May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

Mother Teresa also believes in doing the little things in life well and with Great love

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day.
And we don't know when that one day will be.
So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important.
Tell them, before it is too late.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
Mother Teresa
http://speakkindwords.com/

Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.
Og Mandino

EASY - DIFFICULT
Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
- Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes...
Easy is to talk without thinking
- Difficult is to refrain the tongue...
Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
- Difficult is to heal the wound...
Easy is to enjoy life every day.
- Difficult to give its real value...
Easy is to say we love.
- Difficult is to show it every day...
Easy is to criticize others.
- Difficult is to improve oneself...
Easy is to make mistakes.
- Difficult is to learn from them...
Easy is to think about improving.
- Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action...

“We have all been created for greater things—to love and to be loved. Love is love—to love a person without any conditions, without any expectations. Works of love are works of peace and purity. Works of love are always a means of becoming closer to God, so the more we help each other, the more we really love God better by loving each other. Jesus very clearly said: ‘Love one another as I have loved you.’ Love in action is what gives us grace. We pray and, if we are able to love with a whole heart, then we will see the need. Those who are unwanted, unloved, and uncared for become just a throwaway society—that’s why we must really make everybody feel wanted.”
“There is something else to remember—that this kind of love begins at home. We cannot give to the outside what we don’t have on the inside. This very important. If I can’t see God’s love in my brother and sister then how can I see that love in somebody else? Everybody has got some good. Some hide it, some neglect it, but it is there.”
—Mother Teresa
http://www.ottawainnercityministries.ca/bookReviews/motherTeresaSimplePath.htm

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply be kind to others.
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
~ Jay Leno

Don't let your worries get the Best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
Peace starts with a smile.
He who angers you, controls you!
..........................................................................................................................
Monday WashDay
Lord, help me wash away all my selfishness and vanity, so I may serve you with perfect humility through the week ahead.
Tuesday Ironing Day
Dear Lord, help me iron out all the wrinkles of prejudice I have collected through the years so that I may see the beauty in others.
Wednesday Mending Day
O God, help me mend my ways so I will not set a bad example for others.
Thursday Cleaning Day
Lord Jesus, help me to dust out all the many faults I have been hiding in the secret corners of my heart.
Friday Shopping Day
O God, give me the grace to shop wisely so I may purchase eternal happiness for myself and all others in need of love.
Saturday Cooking Day
Help me, my Savior, to brew a big kettle of brotherly love and serve it with clean, sweet bread of human kindness.
Sunday The Lord's Day
O God, I have prepared my house for you. Please come into my heart so I may spend the day and the rest of my life in your presence.

We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
.....................................................................................................
May every pathway you choose lead to that which is pure and good and lovely
May every doubt and fear be replaced by a deep, abiding trust as you observe evidence of a Higher Power all around you.
May you always be aware you are loved beyond measure, and may you be willing to love unconditionally in return.
May you always feel protected and cradled in the arms of God, like the cherished child you are
And when you are tempted to judge, may you be reminded that we are ALL ONE, and that every thought you think reverberates across the universe touching everyone and everything
And when you are tempted to hold back may you remember that love flows best when it flows freely.
and it is in giving that we receive the greatest gift
And may a rainbow follows every storm
And may every wound brings wisdom and every trial brings triumph

When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
Talk slowly but think quickly.
When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer! , smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain.
Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.
In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

饶恕:

一般来讲,人冒犯人都是有其理由及原因的。被冒犯者,如果能去查找冒犯者之行为背后的理由及原因,就能更容易饶恕对方。站在对方的角度来看问题,就会找到不同的答案。最基本的原因一般是人与人之间缺乏了解,理解,更缺乏爱。冒犯很可能是互相的。所以说,要找到恰当的勾通方式,恰当的语言来勾通信息,即不冒犯对方,让对方感到不舒服,又把信息传递过去,是非常重要的技巧。批评之前,要表扬七次,就是这个道理。这样看来,要学的还是去查找对方的优点,而且要经常表扬别人才是。

有些人非常敏感,感情很脆弱,容易被伤害,又不善于表达勾通,就更需要特殊对待。每个人都要学习不斤斤记较,不钻牛角尖才是。

馬 太 福 音 6:14-15
你們饒恕人的過犯、你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯。
你們不饒恕人的過犯、你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。

馬 可 福 音 11:25
你們站著禱告的時候、若想起有人得罪你們、就當饒恕他、好叫你們在天上的父、也饒恕你們的過犯。

路 加 福 音 6:37
你們不要論斷人、就不被論斷.你們不要定人的罪、就不被定罪.你們要饒恕人、就必蒙饒恕.

羅 馬 書 12:20-21
相反地,“如果你的仇敵餓了,就給他吃;如果渴了,就給他喝。因為你這樣作,就是把炭火堆在他的頭上。”
不可被惡所勝,反要以善勝惡。

“It is easy enough to be friendly to one’s friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion. The other is mere business.” - Gandhi

上面这句甘地的话很让人深思。人与人之间总是有磨擦。一般的人都躲避那些不容易应付的人。有些人因习惯不同而鄙视他人,怎样来应付这样的人,是值得探讨的。甘地的意思是说不应当回避这样的人。要与他们友好。这可是需要很大的饶恕功夫。还得靠羅 馬 書 12:20了。

话说回来,不要等到你的仇敌饿了,才给他吃。这年头,要等你的“仇敌”饿了,等一辈子恐怕也等不到。见到热季的水果蔬菜时,多买点,新鲜,又便宜,送些给你的“仇敌”就是了。哪有不爱吃水果蔬菜的。

这个视频很好:
video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1353456760358412679&index=0#docid=-5310625206242769301

不要唠叨过去的不逾快的事;
也不要常记着,或心里数着一件件过去的不逾快的事;
要决定把过去的伤从记忆中抹掉;
不要等待或寻找机会“报复”别人,或讲刺激人的话;

例子:
作儿女的会记得小时候爸爸妈妈没有好好照看自己,而念念不忘;
作为职员,对上司有及大的不满,因为他对待我们豪无公平;

能进入天国里的人,所接受到的神赦免,要大于任何处犯过我们的人的罪。因为神能过饶恕我们的罪,我们也应当能够饶恕别人。不能饶恕别人的人,就会被苦毒而捆锁住。只有完全彻底地饶恕他人,我们才能得到真正的自由,从仇恨和苦毒中解放出来。

最难做的是永久不断地饶恕别人一次次的过错,尤其是明知故犯的错。我们通常要求对方保证不再犯错才会饶恕他。但主对我们要求是不断地饶恕别人。这也是他饶恕我们的方式。

这里有很好的故事:
www.catherineblountfdn.org/rsof.htm

这个视频很好:
video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1353456760358412679&index=0#docid=-5310625206242769301

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